Autumn in my heart just drained

The one.....

2009-01-05T10:21:00.000-08:00

You & Me

2008-12-11T11:33:00.000-08:00

When I doubted being able to protect you, and was thinking about it,
I thought I was gonna go crazy. Thinking about you constantly, worrying about you,
and missing you, I was really hurting. Loving someone..hurts and it's tiring,
but it's not something i could stop going to you........I can't stop that.

one day I met you by chance
That person who I had heard about was there with you
I was so surprised because there was a smile on your face
A smile that had never been there when you were with me
I guess I seemed pathetic to you, so lonely and sad
There were tears in my eyes
So you asked me why I was crying, why I was hurting so much
I tried to lie to you
But when I saw you looking at me I couldn't help myself
All the words that were in my heart spilled out

Going to bed alone, waking up alone
Eating meals alone, I can't get used to that
Liking something alone, feeling sad alone
I can't get used to that, I can't get used to it

Why can't I forget you?
Even now if I think of you tears fill my eyes
Enough time has passed for me to forget about you
So why can't I forget you even after all this time?
There was a time before we met when I lived alone
I say to myself that I'll try to go back to that time
But then all I see is the empty space that you have left...........

When it rained.......

2007-05-23T12:16:00.000-07:00

Can rain betray me??? I have to believe that it can!!!
Are you true to every one you meet? You dont need to be true to a person you just meet...
I was wondering... sometimes people will be acting as if they're hapy even if they're not....
but will any one dare to act sadness even if they're happy??
What if you're nt true to any one in this world
Now that's a question i guess...
"With great strengths come great responsibilities". I agree.. Well I'm nt a Spidy fawhat if you dnt have any powers??? does that mean that you do
well I can't keep asking questions
I should start to find the answers now. ...
Some one told me its time for finding answers....
do not rely on them to make any decisions....
You're matured enough to take ur own decisions ...
well does that mean you should start to forget people you always relied on your whole life???
Can you stop seeking advices from your mother?? from your friends???
I repeat I should start finding answers rather than filling my thouts with "eternal absurdities...."
Hats off to her... I'm glad that she is matured enough to dictate me... to insist me to have my own decisions.....
"My own decisions" what a thought...
Well time for answers... but I'm still under the shadows... shadows of memories...
Maybe the dark clouds which rained may travel little bit faster than normal....
The eternal sunshine may hit my forehead... then? then what??

Rule # 1 Believe in fairy tales!!!

2007-05-21T16:04:00.000-07:00

Rule # 999 - Pain!!!
In order to avoid pain, never do feel attached to anybody.

Rule # 13 - Never Forget
Never forget how much you are loved by the ones who really love you

Rule # 125 - Speak Easy
If you really want to be understood, never speak so easy.

Rule # 88 - Ask For
Never fear to ask for what you actually need to the people you love.

Rule # 29 - Bonds
Chose the right bonds

Rule # 74 - The Exact Distance
Remember to carefully measure the exact distance between your conscience and your madness.

Rule # 04 - Your best friend's advice
When in doubt, follow your best friend's advice.

Rule # 101 - Your dues
Pay your dues, then sleep tight.

Rule # 20 - Reality
Face reality and then accept it, whatever it takes.

Rule # 05 - To admit
In order to begin a new life, first of all you have to admit your own limits.
(For example: if you cannot see enough, try with a pair of glasses).

Rule # 95 - Smoke n Smile
If you really are tired and sad, maybe the best thing you can do is to smoke and smile.

My Blueberry nights.....!!!!

2007-05-21T14:57:00.000-07:00

May be these are just thoughts.. i should learn to avoid the word "may be"...
I'm feeling like I'm short of words.... is it just words or am i losing my identity?
I'm losing my experiences, happenings....

A transition of sorts.More gradual than apparent.
More obvious than the obvious.
Cryptic talk? Always has been,here.

Do people suffer often when they fail to/refuse
to speak up?The answer obviously is Yes.I've seen too many people who're too nice to
refuse a task,suffer that way.I should know,I used to be one.

Some day, when I'm awfully low, When the
world is cold, I will feel a glow just thinking of
you... And the way you look tonight. Yes you're
lovely, with your smile so warm And your
cheeks so soft, There is nothing for me but to
love you, And the way you look tonight.

Inky blue dawn.Crows wider awake than me.
Idlis soaked in chutney,me soaked in thoughts.
Bright sunlight,blanching half of those.
Work burying the rest.

2007-04-18T07:05:00.000-07:00

The Melody Of Death

You see her...........

May be in a crowded bus, in an empty street, in a book or in a movie……

You hire her……………

for a day, for a week, for a month or even for a lifetime……

You take her home…

You see the door half opened…., the red carpet…..

You see her shadow lined over the half opened door an on the red carpet…

You say let’s try….

You see her smiling…………

You see the bathroom door half opened……
the smoke from the Jacuzzi…
The vapor out of her body……

You see the green meadow through the window pane……
May be for the first time…….

The white drape that covered the window was moving…..

You say … let’s try…..

You see her smiling… laughing…

You know a woman better when your face is buried between her legs.....

You say…………. let’s try….

You see her smiling…….. laughing….

You see the green meadow through the window pane……through the white drapes…
May be for the second time……..

You see the white rough wall.. the Wine leaves was trying to cover the walls

You press your face on that hard, rough, white wall……..

You cry…………….

You see the red wine poring from her right hand to the lean glass….

You se her smoke….. the smoke was making strange shapes on her neck…

You kiss her neck… you ate those strange shapes……

You say.. let’s try…………….let’s try to love………………….

She say……………….. Have you ever really loved a woman……
Have you ever tried to love some one….
To know some one…???

You say.. let’s try….. let’s try to Love…

You see her smiling…..

You cry….

She say… “All the tears are traces of memories…”

You say…. Let’s try… let’s love………

She say……..” Emotional feelings are the universal rules that one should follow on in his/her life…. This can be a comment of your friend, your lover, or a person you’ve sentenced with…..”

You say.. let’s try to love…….

You see her long dark red gown moving.. turning…. Leaving perfect circles behind……

You see the darkness…..

You see the red wine flowing like a stream of blood on that white sheet….

She say…………….let’s listen to the melody…….The Melody Of Death………..

You see her red lips………………

You feel her breath…… the taste.. the soul………

You see her moving….. dancing…….

You here the burning beginning of the melody…….

She say…….. “ let’s try to listen………let’s try to listen to the melody………..

The Melody of Death…………..”